Etiquette Lessons
by everyonedeservesachancetoFLY
Summary: Austria doesn't like having his piano time interrupted by Italy and Holy Rome's poor table manners, so he decides to do something about it. And he fails miserably.


**Disclaimer: *sobs* Stop teasing me with your accusations that I own Hetalia! Only in my dreams…**

**A/N: I'm extremely obsessive-compulsive and irritable when it comes to table manners for some reason, and one of my pet peeves is when people slurp soup or beverages. Somehow I see Austria as being similarly obsessive-compulsive about that and Chibitalia as having a very difficult time following his rules concerning table etiquette, and as I thought about these things, fanfic inspiration happened.**

**Oh… and I'm referring to Chibitalia using female pronouns for most of this story because it's sort of written from Austria's perspective (although not in the first-person POV).**

**And just a final clarification, I do not hate any of the characters in this fic! In fact, I rather love them! I just enjoy making fun of them sometimes…**

* * *

An irritating interlude of slurping sounds cut through the melody of the C Major Prelude from Bach's _Well-Tempered Clavier_. Austria stopped playing immediately and stood up, heading toward the dining room. Who was making those horrifyingly uncultured sounds?!

Upon entering the dining room, he found Italy and Holy Rome sitting at the table, eating soup. He approached the table and stood in front of them, arms crossed, and cleared his throat.

Both children looked up. Italy smiled cheerfully. "Ciao, Mr. Austria! We're eating soup! Would you like some?"

"No, thank you, Italy. But could the two of you possibly eat a bit more quietly? It's so improper to make noises like that while you're eating."

Italy tilted her head confusedly. "What noise?"

Holy Rome slurped his soup loudly.

Austria frowned annoyedly. "That!" he exclaimed, indicating the (normally) quieter of the two children.

"Oh…" Italy nodded. "Holy Rome, you shouldn't make that noise anymore! I don't think Mr. Austria likes it very much."

Holy Rome looked up. "I'm sorry."

"We won't make that noise anymore, promise!" Italy piped up.

"Very well, then." Austria nodded and went back to his piano.

Moments later, the same sounds returned, only they were louder this time.

Wanting desperately to throw something, Austria got up again and returned to the dining room. "What did I just say about eating quietly?!"

Italy squeaked. "I'm sorry, Mr. Austria!"

Holy Rome just frowned.

"I think the two of you need a lesson in table etiquette."

"E-etiquette? What's that?" Italy queried, perplexed by the fancy-sounding word.

"'Etiquette' is a synonym for 'manners,'" explained Austria.

Italy frowned for once, her small face crunching up in confusion.

"He means it's the same as manners," Holy Rome clarified.

"Oh…"

Austria nodded. "So, let's begin with the fact that both of your posture is atrocious."

Holy Rome straightened up immediately.

Predictably, Italy was completely befuddled by the word "atrocious." "What…?"

"Sit up straight," Holy Rome translated.

"Oh!" Italy straightened her back to the fullest extent of her diminutive height.

"Good…" Austria looked over the two younger nations. "And neither of you have napkins, either." He went to the napkin drawer in the kitchen, brought out two napkins, folded them neatly, and placed one next to each child's dish. "Italy, there's a bit of soup on your face. The next point in this lesson is that you use the napkin to wipe the food off of your face if you need to. It's very unbecoming of a young lady to be covered in soup."

Italy dejectedly picked up her napkin and wiped her face. "I'm sorry…"

Austria nodded curtly to acknowledge her apology and continued with his lesson. "And now, we've finally reached the main point. You should never make those horrendous noises while eating or drinking. There are absolutely no exceptions to that rule. It's very rude and unrefined, not to mention irritating. Very. Extremely. Irritating. Do both of you understand?"

The children nodded in unison.

"Now, let's see you try to eat quietly. I know it's possible, and I believe I've taught both of you to be polite and refined young people… nations… geographical entities…" He frowned. "Well… let's see, then."

Holy Rome slowly drew a spoonful of soup toward his mouth, concentrating all of his willpower on not slurping.

Italy, meanwhile, scooped up some soup in her usual airy, carefree manner, brought it to her mouth, and produced the loudest slurping noise yet.

Austria nearly lost it. "Italy! You can't possibly be that plebeian!" he practically screamed at her, resisting the urge to stamp his foot like an indignant adolescent girl.

Startled, Holy Rome looked up, wide-eyed, and flung his spoon backwards. Soup splattered onto his hat and onto the floor.

Italy had absolutely no idea what "plebeian" meant used in that context – wasn't a plebeian just a common person? – but judging by Austria's obvious anger, she knew it couldn't possibly be good. She dropped her spoon with a loud clatter and straightened up, eyes welling up with tears. "Ah! I'm sorry!" she wailed.

Austria's eye twitched. "Ah… I-Italy… please don't cry…" Honestly, though, he had no idea what to do with a crying child…

Just then, Hungary walked in, looking confused. "What happened?"

"I believe I just upset Italy," Austria stated flatly, looking from the small crying girl sitting at the table to the older female.

Hungary frowned. "I can see that. What did you say?"

"I tried to give these two an etiquette lesson, but she wasn't making much progress and I got… a bit frustrated and yelled at her."

"Oh. Let me take care of her." She reached up and gently patted his shoulder, snickering a bit to herself when she said the word "her."

Austria nodded. "Should I leave?"

Hungary thought for a moment. "If you'd like to."

"All right, I'm going to go back to playing the piano. Thank you." He returned to his music room to continue playing without any interruptions.

Meanwhile, Hungary stood next to Italy and wiped the child's tears away. "It's all right, Italy, Mr. Austria doesn't mean anything by yelling at you…"

Italy nodded and sniffled, hiccoughing slightly. "Can you help me learn how to eat quietly, Miss Hungary?"

"Of course!" She smiled, giving the young nation a quick hug.

Holy Rome lightly tugged on Hungary's apron. "Miss Hungary?"

She turned. "What is it, Holy Rome?" she asked gently.

"… What should I do about the soup on my hat?"

Hungary inspected his hat, biting her lip slightly. It was dripping small droplets of soup onto the floor. "Oh… I'd say you should take that off, I'll wash it for you."

Holy Rome nodded and removed his hat to reveal more of his blond hair, placing the soupy garment on the table beside his bowl. He then resumed eating, making sure not to slurp.

Italy looked expectantly up at Hungary, who redirected her attention again. "All right, Italy, this is how you eat your soup without slurping. First, let's get some soup on your spoon."

The small auburn-haired child nodded emphatically and scooped up some soup, waiting for the next instruction.

"Very good. And now you put the spoon up to your mouth very carefully and you drink it slowly. If you're slow and careful about this, you won't slurp."

Italy nodded again and painstakingly ate the spoonful of soup, only producing a very faint sound.

"Good! Now let's try again, even more slowly."

Italy repeated the process and successfully managed to eat the next spoonful of soup in complete silence.

Hungary beamed at her honorary child. "Great job!"

Italy smiled proudly. "I did it?"

"You did! That was perfect!"

The little child's happy grin grew bigger. "Now I know how to eat politely!"

Lo and behold, the victory was short-lived.

The next afternoon, Austria was just sitting down at his piano, carefully flipping through his sheet music to select a piece to play. From the dining room, a loud slurping noise severed the perfectly peaceful atmosphere as Italy ate the pasta that she had prepared for herself.

Austria had a sudden intense urge to either cry or smash something. "Honestly, Italy?!"

* * *

**A/N: … And so Chibitalia never did master the art of not slurping.**

**Austria isn't very good with children, is he? Ah well, thankfully Hungary's there… I love the Chibitalia sequences in the anime. They're so cute and funny. ^-^**

**So, did you enjoy this fic? Would you be willing to review it? I think reviewing would be a lovely idea. Review or Chibitalia will slurp at you!**


End file.
